Ndani angatsutsane ndi mfundo yakuti chikondi ndi chokongola? Vuto ndiloti nthawi zina kumverera kodabwitsa kumeneku kumasokonezeka ndi kudalira - zakuthupi, zamaganizo kapena zachiwerewere. Matendawa amachititsa kuvutika kwakukulu ndipo ndi vuto limene muyenera kulichotsa.
Kudalira kugonana kwa mnzanu
Nthawi zambiri zimachitika kuti ubale wasiya kubweretsa kapena sanabweretse chimwemwe chirichonse, koma palibe mphamvu yakuletsa. Pankhaniyi, kumadalira kwambiri mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, zomwe nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kuti muthane. Kawirikawiri, kudalira , kuphatikizapo kugonana, kumachitika mwa amayi, amuna amadalira mochepa kwambiri kwa wokondedwa wawo. Mfundo apa ndi yocheperako maganizo, osachepera mphamvu za amuna kuti afunire munthu, zomwe zimayambira msinkhu (pafupifupi zaka zitatu) zimatha kusokoneza maganizo ndi amayi. Pokhala ndi zoterezi, komanso poleredwa ndi mantha okula monga "mwana wamwamuna", amuna ali ndi inshuwalansi kuti asalowe mu ubale woterewu.
Akazi alibe mpumulo wotero, ambiri amakhalabe pafupi ndi amayi awo, pokhala atapanga kale mabanja awo. Chifukwa chake, kugonana ndi mwamuna kumakhala kosavuta, kawirikawiri kumapezeka pamene kuyambira zaka zoyambirira, chithunzi chodziwika bwino cha munthu woyenera chinakhazikitsidwa, ndipo pamene zabwino zoterozo zimachitika mwadzidzidzi, munthu akhoza kunena kale chiyambi cha kupanga mapangidwe opweteka. N'zochititsa chidwi kuti nthawi ya "kugunda kwenikweni" ingathe kukhazikitsidwa pokhapokha ngati sakuzindikira, pamene mukuganiza kuti mkaziyo amamvetsa momveka bwino kuti munthu uyu alibe tsogolo, koma sangathe kusokoneza chiyanjano chimenechi.
Zimakhalanso zoopsa kuti pamene "kutambasula" kumachitika pa chinthu china chokhumba, mkazi amalephera kuyang'anitsitsa mkhalidwewo, amatha kukhululukira ndi kukhululukira zolakwa ndi zolakwa za wokondedwa, ngakhale chiwonongeko. Pang'onopang'ono, kuthekera kwa kulingalira mwakuya kumatayika kwathunthu ndipo mkazi yemwe poyamba adayang'ana ubale umene ulipo ngati "udindo wa kugonana" akuyamba kukonzekeretsa tsogolo, kulingalira kuti zolephera zonse ndi zazing'ono, ndiyeno amayembekeza chimwemwe chachikulu. Koma zovuta sizifuna kuthetsa, maubwenzi amabweretsa ululu, kukhumudwa ndi kutopa konse, kumene kulibenso mphamvu zogwirira ntchito, kapena iwo okha. N'zoonekeratu kuti maubwenzi oterewa ndi opweteka, ndipo kudalira kugonana kwa mnzanu kumafuna chithandizo. Ndizoipa kuti m'nthaŵi yaitali ya mtundu uwu ndi zovuta kwambiri kuti mutulukemo, katswiri kokha kokha angathandize, amene angapeze zifukwa zonse zomwe zimayambitsa zovuta, ndipo amasonyeza njira zowonjezera kusintha.
Chithandizo cha kudalira kugonana
Kuphatikizana kowawa kumakhala kovuta ndi zinthu zina, zomwe zimakhalanso zovuta kudzizindikiritsa ndi kudzivomereza nokha zomwe ziri. Nthawi zambiri atsikana amaopa kuthetsa maubwenzi chifukwa amadziona ngati osakondweretsa amuna ena. Ndizofuna kuti iwo asanene mokweza ponena za zopanda phindu zawo, koma pazifukwa zina amasiya kugula zovala zatsopano, zokongoletsera ndi zokongoletsera zokongola zimaonedwa ngati zosafunika, ndipo misonkhano ndi mabwenzi kawirikawiri zimachitika pachaka. Ndiye ntchito zokha zokha zithandiza, monga, kuitanira abwenzi ndikukhala bwino, kupita ku msonkhano. Musalole kusintha chirichonse mwakamodzi, koma sitepe yoyamba idzapangidwa.
Yesani kuganiza kuti mumasulidwa kumang'anjo yamoto. Mungathe kuchita izi mwalingaliro, ndikuwonetseratu chiwonetsero chosadziwika chomwe chimayambitsa mavuto anu, ndipo pang'onopang'ono mukudula zidutswa zake, kuziwononga. Musaiwale kunena zonse zopweteka. Mukhoza kujambula chophiphiritsira ndi pulasitiki kapena kuchikoka pamapepala,
Ngati mumvetsetsa kuti simungathe kupirira nokha, pitani kwa wodwalayo. Chifukwa zifukwa zomwe zimayambitsa khalidweli, zimatha kubisala kutali kwambiri. Ndipo kawirikawiri munthu, ataonekera mu zinthu zovuta, sangangowang'anitsitsa kuchokera kumbali ina, wothandizira angakuthandizeni.
Njira imodzi yothetsera vutoli ndi mankhwala a gulu. Choncho, musazengereze kugwirizanitsa ndi anzanu mumsampha, kuyankhulana nawo pazitukuko, zidzakuthandizanso kuyang'ana mkhalidwe mosiyana.