Maloto omwe kale anali okonda si achilendo. Nthaŵi zina, nkhani zoterozi zimangosonyeza zomwe zinalipo panthawi yomwe kale ankakonda. Ngati, mutatha kupatukana, nthawi yambiri yatha ndipo wolotayo ali pachibwenzi chatsopano, ndiye kuti kugona n'koyenera kufotokozera. Pachifukwa ichi ndikofunika kulingalira zina za chiwembucho.
Nchifukwa chiyani mukuganiza kuti mukugonana ndi munthu wina wakale?
Nthawi zina, ubwenzi wapamtima ndi yemwe kale anali wokonda mu loto ukhoza kuchitika ngati pali mavuto pochita ndi wokondedwa wamakono. Maloto oterowo angakhale chiwonetsero cha malingaliro osayembekezereka a m'tsogolo. Ngati kupatukana kunayambika pamwambamwamba, ndiye kuti kugonana ndi munthu wina wakale m'maloto kungasonyeze kukayikira komwe kulipo pankhani yowona. Masomphenya a usiku omwe mumakhala nawo pafupi ndi omwe kale munali okonda angatanthauze kuti posachedwapa mudzayenera kulipira chifukwa cha zomwe anachita kale. Nthaŵi zina, chizoloŵezi chotere ndicho chizindikiro cha kukhalapo kukayikira. Mwina wolotayo akudziona kuti ndi wosayenera pa chinthu chabwino kuposa choyambirira.
Nthawi zina maloto okhudzana ndi kugonana ndi munthu wakale amakhala ngati chenjezo kuti m'moyo weniweni pali mantha omwe amatsutsana ndi chibwenzi chamakono. Zinthu zingakhale zovuta kwambiri, zomwe pamapeto pake zimayambitsa kusiyana. Ngati malotowo akulota mkazi asanakwatirane, ndiye kuti mwinamwake akukayikira za kulondola kwa chisankhocho. Kugonana ndi mwamuna wakale m'maloto kungasonyeze kukhala wosakhutira ndi zokhumba zogonana. Chiwembu china chikhoza kutanthauza kuti posachedwa uyenera kulipira chifukwa cha zomwe wapanga
Ochita kafukufuku wamakono amakhulupirira kuti ngati munagonana ndi munthu wina yemwe kale munali kukonda, ndiye kuti muli ndi chikhumbo chofuna kukhala ndi munthu uyu mu chibwenzi. Ngati malingaliro okhudza mtima ndi agulu akale anali okondweretsa, ndiye wolotayo akukonzekera ubale watsopano. Kugona, kumene kugonana kunabweretsa mavuto, kumachenjeza za mavuto, ndipo posachedwa adzayenera kupanga kusankha kovuta. Kumva kupweteka panthawi yogonana ndi yemwe kale anali wokondedwa ndi chizindikiro chakuti akhoza kuthandizira moyo wamtsogolo mwanjira ina iliyonse, ndipo choyamba, pa ntchito.