Sikuti aliyense ali ndi mwayi wokhala ndi banja lamtendere ndi makolo achikondi. M'madera amakono mabanja amakangana kale kale. Kwa anthu ena, kukangana ndi njira imodzi yokhala pamodzi, njira yothetsera mavuto, koma mwanayo samvetsa izi, amakhulupirira kuti chifukwa chake chiri mwa iye komanso kuti ndi choipa. Amadzimva kuti alibe chitetezo komanso alibe thandizo, osadziŵa mbali yomwe angatenge. Ngati wachinyamata angayambe kutsutsa, mwanayo amangoopa pamene makolo akufuula, ndipo ziribe kanthu kwa iye kapena wina ndi mnzake. Nthawi zambiri ana amakhala ndi funso lokhudza momwe angayanjanitsire makolo awo komanso nthawi zina amatha kukhazikitsa chikhalidwe cha banja.
Zifukwa za mikangano - chifukwa chiyani makolo amalumbira nthawi zonse:
- Kupanda ulemu kwa mnzanu, zochita ndi mawu omwe amavulaza ulemu wa munthu, kutemberera, nthawi zambiri amakhala chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe makolo amakangana. Mipikisano imayambira pawiri pomwe palibe chikhulupiliro, pamene mwamuna wina ayesera kutsata wina, kulamulira zochita zake, ndi nsanje popanda chifukwa.
- Kusakondana ndi chifukwa chimene makolo amalumbira nthawi zonse. Kawirikawiri pachiyambi cha chibwenzi, chikondi chimakhalapo, koma kenako chimatha. Mwamuna amasiya kusamalira ndi kumvetsera mkazi wake, mkazi amasiya kukondana ndi mwamuna wake, akudziyang'anira yekha.
- Makolo amazunza, chifukwa chenicheni cha m'banja sichiri choyembekezera. Ambiri ali ndi masomphenya awo a kukhala pamodzi ndipo pakutsutsana ndi zoona, amakangana. Chifukwa cha mikangano yotereyi kungakhale kusowa chisamaliro, chifundo, kugonana kolakwika, ndi zina zotero.
- Zowonjezera zokakamiza za abwenzi, komanso pamene okwatirana ali ndi malingaliro osiyana pa ufulu ndi maudindo a wina ndi mzake, zimathandiza kuti pakhale kusagwirizana komanso kusokonezeka.
- Mipikisano ikhoza kuwuka pamene banja liri losangalatsa komanso losangalatsa. Tsiku ndi tsiku, chimodzimodzi sichimveka bwino, zosiyana, zatsopano. Pamene okwatirana amathera maholide awo pambali pawokha, amachititsanso kuti pakhale zovuta pakati pawo.
Kodi ndingatani ngati makolo anga akutsutsana?
- Ngati makolo amakangana, chinthu choyamba kuchita ndicho kukhazikitsa chifukwa cha kusagwirizana. Ngati ndizoopsa - mowa, chinyengo, kapena mukuwona kuti maganizo a makolo athazikika, ndiye kuti bwino kukhala kutali, makolo adzidzimva okha, ndipo mukufunikira kusankha okha.
- Pezani zotsutsana. Mutatha kudziwa chomwe chimayambitsa vutoli, yesetsani kupeza njira yothetsera vutoli, ndikukakamiza makolo onsewo.
- Lankhulani mosiyana ndi kholo lililonse. Yesetsani kuti muwoneke mwachilengedwe, mwachitsanzo, pa kadzutsa, pamene abambo achoka, funsani amayi anu chifukwa chomwe makolo amakangana, ndicho chifukwa, ndi zomwe adzachite. Mukufuna kufufuza kuti muyambe kukambirana. Pamene amayi anu ayankha mafunso awa, tiuzeni momwe mumamvera pamaganizo awo, kuti muli ndi maganizo oipa. Muyenera kumusonyeza chifundo ndi kuzindikira kuti mikangano yawo yoipa imakukhumudwitsani.
- Mayi akatha kuyang'ana mkangano kuchokera kumbali ina ndikuzindikira kuti akuchita zolakwika, kunama, kutulukira nkhani, yomwe papa akufunadi, koma momwe sakudziwa. Ndipo funsani woyamba kuti akupemphere chikhululuko.
- Bwerezani izi ndi bambo anu.
- Musakhale opusa. Musatsatire malangizo a mndandanda: yambani kumamwa, kumwa, kusuta. Musayambe kukangana ndi makolo anu, ndizo
osati njira yabwino yothetsera mgwirizanowu. Kotero mumangowonjezera mkangano ndikudzibweretsera mavuto ena. Muyenera kutsimikizira, m'malo molimbikitsa mavuto ena kwa makolo. - Ngati amayi sakupita kuyanjanitso, gulani maluwa ndi kumuwonetsa, kuti ndi bambo amene anagula, koma adakupemphani kuti musanene kuti maluwawo amachokera kwa iye. Ngati abambo anu akukhumudwa, mugulitseni kondomu, yomwe amamukonda ndikumuuza kuti mayi ake adagula mafuta onunkhira, koma akukupemphani kuti muwapatse kutali. Chinthu chachikulu ndipo musavomereze kuti izi ndi zomwe mumayambitsa.
Musamachepetse manja anu ndipo musataye mtima, mwinamwake mumayambitsa njira yanu, momwe mungayanjanitsire makolowo. Mtendere ku banja lanu!