Chikondi chodutsa

"Lingaliro lakuti chirichonse cha padziko lapansi sichiri chamuyaya, chopanda chisokonezo chosatha komanso chosatha"

Maria-Ebner Eschenbach

Musanayambe kuganizira ngati chikondi chikhoza kudutsa, kumbukirani kuti palibe chilichonse m'dziko lino chomwe chimatha, koma chimasinthidwa. Ndipo chikondi, nayenso, sichidutsa popanda tsatanetsatane. Nthawi zina zimakhala ubale, nthawizina - udani, ndipo nthawi zina - kukumbukira kapena chizolowezi. Mwinamwake ndi nthawi yoti mutsegule mfundo za ubale kuti mupite patsogolo, koma mumadziwa bwanji kuti nthawi ino yabwera? Momwe mungadziwire kuti chikondi chadutsa, ndipo ndithudi, ngati chikudutsa, ngati chiri chowonadi. Tidzakambirana za izi lero.

Kodi mungamvetse bwanji kuti chikondi chadutsa?

Palibe yankho lachidziwitso la funso: Chifukwa chiyani chikondi chimadutsa? Izi zingayambidwe ndi zinthu zakunja (mtunda, mavuto osokoneza bongo, miseche, etc.), komanso kusintha kwanu mkati. Chikondi choyamba, monga lamulo, sichidutsa mofulumira, mwangwiro chifukwa chakuti sichikugwirizana ndi zinthu zakunja, koma mkati timakhalabe ndikumverera kwanthawi yaitali ndi yowona, chifukwa chikugwirizana ndi zatsopano zatsopano, koma mphamvu zoterezi.

Kotero, momwe mungamvetsetse ngati chikondi chanu chadutsa:

• mumayamba kukhumudwa ndi zizoloŵezi zake kapena khalidwe lake. Ngakhale maonekedwe, mutha kudzipezera nokha chinthu chachilendo ndi chosasangalatsa (kumbukirani Anna Karenina, pamene mwadzidzidzi anamenyedwa ndi makutu a mwamuna wake). Kuwakwiyitsa ndi chizindikiro choyamba kuti ubale wanu wapereka chisokonezo chachikulu;
• musadandaule za mikangano. Ngati simudziwa kumvetsetsa ngati chikondi chadutsa, mvetserani nokha mukamakangana. Palibe mkwiyo? Simukusamala, kugwirizanitsa kapena ayi (kapena, mumtima, lingaliro lomwe silingathe konse);
• kuiwala za kukhalako kwake. Kumapeto kwa tsiku mumaganiza za munthu ndidzidzidzi, chifukwa mudalonjeza kuti mudzadya chakudya chamadzulo. Pamene chikondi chidutsa, simukuganiza kuti mungathe kuchita zinthu za tsiku ndi tsiku, monga kuyeretsa kapena kuyang'ana pulogalamu, palimodzi;
• iwe umakhala wosungulumwa mwa iwekha, aliyense amakhala mu malo ake omwe. Kukambirana kumachepetsedwa kukhala ziganizo za monosyllabic, ndipo pambuyo pa ntchito mumayendayenda mosiyana. Simukufuna kugawana malingaliro anu, ndi kudziwa momwe zinthu zilili theka, naponso;
• musakonde kukopeka. Kukhalapo kwa kugonana sikunali chizindikiro cha chikondi, koma kupezeka kwake ndi chizindikiro chowopsya. Kusakondana kwa kanthaŵi kochepa ndi kwa mkazi aliyense, komabe ngati mwakhala mukuganiza kuti kugonana ndi ntchito yowawa, ino ndi nthawi yosinkhasinkha;
• kusokonezeka. Simukusekanso nthabwala zomwezo, osati kutchula nthabwala za wokondedwa kale;
• Pangani chisankho chokha, muziganiza ngati osiyana "I". Ndipo ingoikani wina ndi mnzake patsogolo pa chowonadi;
• sangalalani pamene pali kusiyana. Ngati mau a mnyamatayo akubwera paulendo wazamalonda, mtima umayankha "kupweteka", ndipo nthawi yomweyo mumaganizira zomwe mungachite popanda chikondi, mwinamwake chikondi chadutsa.

Patapita nthawi chikondi chimadutsa?

Chikondi chodutsa msanga chimadalira, ndithudi, pa mphamvu yapachiyambi ya mphamvu. Komabe, zovuta zowopsya (3, 7 ndi zaka zambiri) sizithunthu zowonjezera pa chikondi. Ndiko nthawi yokonzanso ndikusintha kupita kumalo atsopano. Koma nthawi zina zimachitika kuti nthawi ino kuchokera pansi penipeni pamtima imayamba kuwononga komanso panthawi imodzimodzi kumverera kuti simukukondanso munthu uyu. Chotsatira ndi chiyani?

Chikondi chadutsa, chochita chiyani?

Ndi kangati, kumverera imfa ya chikondi, timamamatira kumverera komwe kumatipangitsa kubwezeretsa chinyengo cha chikondi - kukumbukira. Ife timapukuta kale, kutulutsa maganizo ofunda ndi mantha mwa ife eni. Kuopa kusabwereza izo. Komabe, ndi bwino kulingalira: ndinu wokhutira ndi kubwereza nthawi yapitayi? Zonse zomwe mumakumbukira ndizopita, zomwe zilipo ndizokuti chikondi chadutsa. Ndipo nthawi zonse muyenera kukhala ndi moyo (!) Mu nthawi ino. Kotero musalole kuti inu muzinyengedwa. Kukhala ndi mwamuna yemwe simukumukonda mwa kudzipereka yekha, mumamuchititsa manyazi, ndipo mumakhala wosasangalala. Pitani kutsogolo, kondwerani, mulowe chikondi, chikondi ndi kukondedwa ...