Aliyense amafuna kukonda ndi kukondedwa, koma nthawi zina zilakolako ziwiri sizigwirizana. Chikondi chosagwirizanitsidwa chimakhala chitsime cha zochitika zamphamvu ndi zolakwika . Komabe, ngakhale mkhalidwe uno uli ndi kuthekera kwa kukula mkati ndi kudzipindulitsa.
Kodi chikondi chosaganiziridwa ndi chiyani?
Olemba ndakatulo ndi olemba, ojambula ndi otsogolera amalankhulana za chikondi monga mtundu wa chinsinsi, zomwe n'zosatheka kumvetsa kwathunthu. Chikondi champhamvu chikhoza kubwera mu nthawi yosayembekezereka ndikugonjetsa malingaliro ndi zikhumbo zonse. Panthawi ina wokonda amayamba kuzindikira kuti pakatikati pa chilengedwe chake wakhala munthu wina, ndi dziko lake lamkati ndi zilakolako zake. Kulimbikitsidwa ndi malingaliro a wina, wokondedwa amayesera kukhala pafupi ndi chinthu cha chilakolako chake, kumuwona, kumvetsera, kumakhala naye nthawi, kuti apindule moyo wake.
Wokondedwa nthawi zonse amafunitsitsa kuti azikonda chikondi kuchokera pachilakolako chake. Nthawi yoyamba ikhonza kuwoneka kuti kubwereza sikofunikira: kungokhala pafupi ndi wokondedwa wanu. Koma m'kupita kwa nthawi, chikondi chopanda chikondi chimakhala cholemetsa kwa munthu, chimatulutsa mphamvu, chimatenga lingaliro lililonse. Chifukwa chake, kukonda kwambiri chikondi chosagonjetsedwa kungakhale champhamvu kwambiri komanso kumatenga nthawi yaitali kusiyana ndi chikondi .
Chikondi chosaganiziridwa mu maganizo
Bambo wotchuka wa matenda a maganizo okhudza maganizo (psychoanalysis) Erich Fromm analemba kuti chikondi chenicheni chimayambitsa kubwezeretsa. Iye analimbikitsa anthu onse kuphunzira momwe angakondere molondola ndi kutchedwa chikondi art. Kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake chikondi sichikwaniritsidwira ndipo sichimayankha yankho mumtima mwa wina, Fromm imanena za ulesi waumunthu, kudzikonda ndi kusadziwa pankhaniyi. Akatswiri a zamaganizo a masiku ano amaona chikondi monga kuphatikiza kwa mankhwala omwe amachititsa zinthu zosiyanasiyana.
Kukhala ndi kumverera mwachikondi, munthu pamutu ayenera kugwirizana ndi zizindikiro zingapo zomwe ziri ndi phindu lapadera kwa iye. Zizindikiro zoterezi zikhoza kukhala: maonekedwe, chigwirizano cha mawu ndi chiwonetsero, kufanana ndi mmodzi wa makolo, makhalidwe, kununkhira, mkhalidwe, ndi zina zotero. Izi ndizakuti, chikondi chofanana chomwe chithunzicho chiyenera kukhala pakati pa anthu awiri. Chikondi chosagwirizanitsidwe chingathe kufotokozedwa monga kumverera komwe kunayambitsidwa ndi kuimira munthu mmodzi yekha komanso kusowa kwa zofunikira zina.
Nchifukwa chiyani chikondi chilibe chikondi?
Chikondi champhamvu chosasamala chingakhale ndi zifukwa zosiyana:
- Kudzichepetsa, zomwe zimalepheretsa munthu kudziwonetsera yekha kumbali yabwino;
- kudzikonda, monga chifukwa chake wokondedwa amatsindika pakumverera kwake ndipo sangathe kumvetsa zokhumba ndi zosowa za chikondi chake;
- Pulogalamu yovutitsidwa yomwe imatsogolera munthu nthawi zonse yomwe ayenera kuvutika ndi kuzunzika;
- kusakhoza kuyankhulana ndi anyamata;
- Kulephera kukonda munthu wina, kumvetsetsa, kumva;
- kulephera kudzipereka okha, kusonyeza makhalidwe awo abwino;
- kusalongosoka kwa maganizo a abwenzi pa moyo;
- kusiyana kwa okondedwa mu chikhalidwe, zofuna, nzeru zamaganizo.
Kumverera kosadziwika kumayankhulidwa ndi malingaliro oipa. Pachifukwa ichi, musaiwale za chikondi chomwe sichikwaniritsidwa chomwe chimaphunzitsa. Angamuuze munthu kuti ayenera kusintha, kusintha maganizo ake kapena zizoloŵezi zake. Chikondi chosadziwika kwambiri chimathandiza munthu kukhala woleza mtima, wachikondi, womvetsetsa, wosamala.
Chikondi chosayesedwa - zizindikiro
Pofuna kupeza yankho la funso la momwe mungadziwire kuti chikondi sichikwaniritsidwa, munthu ayenera kukumbukira kuti zinthu zingasinthe. Chikondi chosadziwika lero chikhoza kukhala mgwirizano mawa. Choncho, musakhumudwitse ndi kuthetsa chiyanjano chomwe chingakhale chogwirizana kwambiri m'tsogolomu. Ngakhale akatswiri a zamaganizo amachititsa zizindikiro za chikondi chosagonjetsedwa, nthawi zonse amadziwa kuti ubale uliwonse ndi wapadera ndipo munthu sayenera kutenga zizindikiro zonse ngati zogwirizana ndi vuto linalake. Tikukamba za zizindikiro zotere za chikondi chosagonjetsedwa:
- Wokondedwayo sakufuna kuthera limodzi momwe angathere;
- wokondedwa kapena wokondedwa safuna kumudziwa ndi bwenzi lake;
- wokondedwa amapewa kukambirana za maubwenzi, safuna kutsimikiziridwa pa chikhalidwe cha maubwenzi;
- Wokondedwayo sakufuna kukhudzana ndi thupi;
- wokondedwa sasonyeza chikondi ndi chifundo;
- mu chiyanjano pali kusagwirizana kwina.
Kodi chikondi chosayenerera chingayambitsedwe?
Chikondi chosagwirizanitsa ndi chopweteka kwambiri ndipo nthawi zambiri chimadzutsa funso la momwe mungapezere chikondi chosadziwika. Kuwona wokondedwa wapafupi ndikulephera kuyanjana naye ndi kovuta komanso zopweteka. Ngakhale mu zinthu zosatherazi pali kuwala kwa chiyembekezo: kumverera mosiyana kungayambitse mtima wa wokondedwa. Zochitika zowona zimasonyeza kuti mabanja ambiri apabanja apanga kuchokera ku maubwenzi omwe poyamba munthu mmodzi yekha ankakondana. Kaya chikondi chingabereke chipatso chimadalira osati pa zochitika zokha, komanso pa khama, nzeru ndi mphamvu ya chikondi cha wokonda.
Chikondi chosadziŵika - choti uchite chiyani?
Chikondi chosaganiziridwa kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi ndi mwayi woti muyang'ane mkati mwanu ndikuyesera kumvetsa chifukwa chake chikondi sichimayankha. Malangizo amenewa akhoza kuthandizira kupeza bwino:
- Ndikofunika kuphunzira kumvetsera kwa mnzanu ndikukumvetsa;
- Nthawi zambiri kambiranani za zomwe zimakondweretsa mnzanu;
- Pezani zinthu zofanana kapena zosangalatsa;
- yesani kulowa mu gulu la wokondedwa;
- Kuti mudziwe kuti ndi makhalidwe otani omwe amakondweretsa wokondedwayo ndikukhala nawo mwa iyemwini.
Momwe mungapulumutsire chikondi chosagonjetsedwa - uphungu wa akatswiri a maganizo
Anthu ambiri omwe adamva chikondi chosadziwika amanena kuti ngakhale kuti adakumana ndi malingaliro ameneŵa, adakondwera ndi chikondi chawo. Ngati kuli kovuta kukhala mumtundu uno, mungagwiritse ntchito mwayi wotere kwa akatswiri a maganizo monga momwe mungapulumutsidwire chikondi chosagonjetsedwa:
- yesetsani kukhala mu gulu nthawi zambiri;
- musaganize kawirikawiri za momwe mungagwirire ndi chikondi chopanda chikondi, ndibwino kuti musokonezedwe ku malingaliro onse pa nkhaniyi mwa kulankhulana ndi zosangalatsa zochititsa chidwi;
- kuyang'ana chikondi chanu ngati mwayi wokondweretsa;
- kumvetsetsa kuti patapita kanthawi munthu ayamba kuyang'ana maganizo ake akale mosiyana ndipo akhoza kukhala wokondwa kuti munthu ameneyo sanagwirizane naye;
- Kumbukirani kuti nthawi imeneyo imapweteka ululu uliwonse.
Chikondi chosayenerera - zotsatira
Chikondi champhamvu chopanda kukondwerera nthawi zambiri chimasiya kukumbukira moyo. Kodi chikumbukiro ichi chidzakhala chiyani, chimadalira momwe tsogolo la munthu lidzakhalira. Banja losangalala, wokondedwa adzakulolani kukumbukira za chikondi chopanda chikondi m'mbuyomu ndi kukhudza chisoni chachikulu. Ubale wosakwaniritsidwanso m'nthawi ino umapangitsa munthu kuganiza za chikondi chosadalirika monga mwayi wotayika. Zotsatira za chikondi chosagwirizanitsa zimadalira munthu mwiniyo yekha, yemwe ayenera kulingalira kuchokera pazochitikazo ndikupanga malingaliro abwino.
Kodi mpingo umati chiyani za chikondi chosagonjetsedwa?
Malingana ndi mwambo wachikhristu, chikondi chonse chimachokera kwa Mulungu. Kuchokera pamalingaliro awa, chikondi choyera chosadziwika ndi mwayi kuti munthu asonyeze makhalidwe ake abwino chifukwa cha munthu wina. Chikondi cha m'Baibulo ndi chikondi cha agape, chopanda chifundo, osasowa kanthu pobwezera. Mulungu amakonda chikondi choterechi. Chikondi chosagwirizanitsa chimaphunzitsa munthu kudzichepetsa, kuleza mtima ndi utumiki kuti apindule ndi ena.
Mabuku okhudza chikondi chosagonjetsedwa
Chikondi chosagwirizanitsa chikufotokozedwa bwino muzojambula zambiri. Mabuku okhudza chikondi chosagonjetsedwa amathandizira kuti mudziwe bwino nokha ndi zomwe zachitika. Mabuku abwino kwambiri pa mutuwu ndi awa:
- Margaret Mitchell "Anayenda ndi Mphepo" . Kugonjetsa kwakukulu kwa moyo wake wonse ndi chikondi chake chopanda chikondi ndipo kumapeto kwa moyo wake kumazindikira kuti kwenikweni iye amakonda kale munthu wina kwa nthawi yaitali.
- Francis Fitzgerald "Great Gatsby" . Bukhuli likuchokera pa nkhani yokhudza chikondi chopanda kukondedwa cha munthu wachuma yemwe moyo wake wonse umalota kokha poona wokondedwa wake nthawi zina.
- Stefan Zweig "Kalata yochokera kwa mlendo" . Chikondi ndi moyo - ichi ndi chiwembu cha ntchitoyi. Munthu wosadalirika pambuyo pa zaka zambiri amadziwa momwe iye ankakondera kwambiri nthawi zonse.