Kukopa kwa anyamata kapena anyamata kumakhala mwa ife mwachilengedwe. Kulimbana ndi chilakolako ndi zilakolako za kugonana ndizosapindulitsa, ndipo thanzi silili lothandiza.
Chifukwa chimachitika zomwe zimachitika: timakumana ndi munthu wosiyana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzathu, timayamikira khalidwe lake, zochita zake, timakopeka, koma titakhala ndi ubwenzi wapamtima ndi munthu uyu, changu chathu chimapezeka kwinakwake mwachinyengo. Choyenera kuchita, ndani yemwe akulakwa, chifukwa panalibe chifukwa chapadera chogawanitsa. Pambuyo pake onse ali ndi mwayi. Zimatuluka, ndizo zokhudzana ndi kugonana kwa anthu. Pankhaniyi, mu kugonana kosagwirizana ...
Mwamuna ndi mkazi
Kugwirizana kwa kugonana kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi kumadalira pa kudziwonetsera nokha mu moyo wapamtima, kuchokera ku chiwerewere cha abwenzi. Chiwerewere, ndithudi, chosiyana. Koma mbali yaikulu ya kugonana ndikuti kugonana kwa abambo ndi amai kumaonekera m'njira zosiyanasiyana.
Kodi kugonana ndi chiyani? Kugonana, choyamba, ndi khalidwe la khalidwe, kukhalapo komwe kumapangitsa munthu kukhala wokongola, kubala malingaliro okhudzana ndi kugonana (pamodzi ndi iye kapena wamba). Kugonana kwa anthu m'njira zosiyanasiyana kumadalira maganizo athu ndi maganizo athu.
Zofanana ndi kusiyana kwa kugonana kwa amuna ndi akazi ndi chimodzi mwa zovuta kwambiri zokhudzana ndi kugonana. Ngati mkazi akunena kuti amuna ake alibe chidwi, ndiye palibe amene angamutsutse chifukwa cha izi. Pamene munthu avomereza kuti alibe kugonana kwa anyamata kapena atsikana, timangoganiza kuti iye ndi wopanda mphamvu kapena, moipa, kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Zakachitika kuti "mwamuna weniweni", mwachizoloŵezi chathu, ndiye kuti, mwamuna wabwino. Zogonana zake sizingasamalike kuchokera ku chiwerewere chake. Mphamvu ya munthu, koposa zonse, mphamvu yake yamwamuna.
Malinga ndi akatswiri a maganizo omwe amavumbulutsa chinsinsi cha kugonana kwa amuna ndi akazi, amuna, kugonana sikumangokhalira kukondweretsa monga ntchito yomwe imafuna kuthetsa, ndi cholinga chokwaniritsa ndi kupindula kanthu (mwachitsanzo, kapenagasma). Kwa amayi, izi sizili choncho pankhaniyi. Kwa mkazi, kugonana kumakhala ndi zosangalatsa. Zomwe zimamuyambitsa sizomwe zimayambitsa thupi, koma zimagwira mtima. Chifukwa chake, simungathe kuziyika pazomwe zili mu thupi kapena gulu la ziwalo, monga zikuwonetseredwa ndi amuna. Mayi si makina, simungathe "kukanikiza batani" ndikupeza kugonana. Mchitidwe wotere kwa mkazi si wachiwerewere chabe, komanso wopusa.
Kugonana kwachikazi mu mphamvu zawo ndi mwamphamvu nthawi zambiri kumaposa amuna. Kuchita izi kumadalira pazifukwa zamaganizo, komanso pamwamba pa zonse. N'chiyani chingalepheretse kugonana kwa amayi? Zina mwa zifukwa zomwe asayansi akuphatikizapo zotsutsana ndi kugonana, maphunziro a Puritan (maphunziro okhwima a chiyero), ndi chifukwa chake, kusowa maphunziro a kugonana pa nthawi yake, komanso njira zogonana zapakati pa mzake yemwe sachita chidwi ndi chikondi charesses.
Kugonana kwa amuna, kawirikawiri, kumawoneka koopsa, okondweretsa komanso osasamala kuposa akazi. Ndipo palibe chimene mungathe kuchita.
Chiyeso chogwirizana
Momwe mungadziwire kugonana kwa abwenzi - pokonza nkhaniyi, mukhoza kupita njira zingapo:
- Chinsinsi cha dzina. Chodabwitsa kwambiri, kwa anthu ena, kugonana kwa maina n'kofunika kwambiri. Njira yotero ndiyo kuphunzira chinsinsi cha dzina, chikhalidwe cha mwini wake, chikhalidwe. Ndiye mutha kulingalira kale za kugonana kwa abwenzi. Koma tisaiwale kuti anthu onse ndi osiyana ndipo pansi pa chikhalidwe chimodzi, palibe amene ayenera kuthamangitsidwa.
- Mtundu wa Magazi. Kugwirizana kwa kugonana, malinga ndi Japanese, kumatsimikiziridwa ndi gulu la magazi. Mwachitsanzo, a ku Japan amakhulupirira kuti ngati mwamuna akufuna wokondedwa, ayenera kusankha mkazi wake ndi gulu loyamba la magazi. M'tsogolo, ngati munthu
amakwatira mkazi ndi gulu loyamba la magazi, sadzapulumutsidwa konse. Akazi oterewa amakakamiza amuna awo kuti adye m'mawa kuti agwire ntchito. Mkazi yemwe ali ndi gulu loyamba la magazi ndi wokonda kwambiri, yemwe nthawi zonse amakumana ndi zomwe akuyembekezera.
Kugwirizana kwa kugonana kumadalira "chilakolako cha kugonana" cha abwenzi, pamlingo wa zovuta zawo ndi kudziwitsa kugonana. Mu chiyanjano ndi wokondedwa, mawonekedwe aliwonse a malingaliro ndi okongola, kotero chikhumbo chokondweretsa wina ndi mzake sayenera kukhala chochititsa manyazi, koma, mosiyana, chimafuna kumasulidwa kwathunthu ndi kudalira.