Psychology of kugonana

Zokangana ndi zotsutsana za psychology za kugonana zasungidwa kuyambira nthawi ya kulengedwa kwa dziko ndipo, mwachiwonekere, zidzapitirira ngati tsiku la chivomezi. Nchifukwa chiyani, zikuwoneka kuti sizingakhale zovuta kuwona malingaliro enieni, chichitidwe, chomwe chiri chachibadwa kwa zolengedwa zamoyo zonse padziko lapansi, mwa oimira mtundu wa anthu zimayambitsa lingaliro losayerekezereka lomwe limaposa chabe chibadwa cha kubereka? Yankho ndi losavuta: ndife ololera ndipo chifukwa cha izi timayesetsa kumvetsetsa choonadi chobisika kuseri kwa gwero la zosangalatsa.

Big Bang

Poyamba, maganizo ndi kugonana ndizosiyana kwambiri ndi umunthu. Pambuyo pake, choyamba ndi 100% chokhudzana ndi chidziwitso ndi mkati mwa "I", ndi yachiwiri - madzi abwino a chilengedwe cha kusungirako mitundu. Ndipotu, zonse sizili zophweka. Izi zingawoneke zachilendo, koma zowoneka poyamba zimapezeka pamutu, ndipo chidziwitso chathu chimafanizira zigawo zonse zofunika kuti tipeze chisangalalo ndikutsimikizira kukhalapo kwa zinthu zolimbikitsa (mwachitsanzo, maonekedwe ndi khalidwe la wokondedwa, malo enaake kapena chikhalidwe chapadera), ubongo udzaperekanso patsogolo pa "Big Bang", kumene chilengedwe chatsopano chingathe kubadwa.

Amakonda - sakonda

Psychology ya amuna mu kugonana ndi yosiyana kwambiri ndi ya akazi, yomwe ndi yoyenera, choyamba, kugawidwa kwapadera kwa maudindo mu nkhani yobereka. Zochita zonse mu "zokondweretsa" izi za oimira mphamvu zogonana zimagonjetsedwa ndi ntchito ziwiri zokhazo: kusangalala ndi kupeza umboni wowonekera wa kuwongolera kwawo, ndiko kuti, amawona chidziwitso cha amayi okha, monga chitsimikizo cha chikhalidwe chake cha mwamuna ndi zina.

Kugonana kokongola kumamvetsa zonse zikuchitika pang'ono kuchokera kumalo osiyana siyana: chidziwitso chachikazi chimaganizira kuti kugonana ndi umboni wosatsimikizika wa chikondi ndi lonjezo kuti wokondedwa wosankhidwa naye adzasamalira iye ndi mbadwa zake. Kawirikawiri maganizo a akazi ogonana amatsitsidwa molakwika kuti aganizire: kugona ndi ine kumatanthauza chikondi, chomwe chiri chosiyana kwambiri ndi masomphenya achimuna a izi. Zolingalira komanso nthawi zina zomveka za chiyanjano kwa amai ndizofunika kwambiri kuposa kungokhala osangalala ndipo izi zikufotokozera kuti ma 65% a amayi okongola ali okonzeka kupereka nsembe kapena kungotsanzira, kuti apange wokondedwayo kukhala "mulungu" kapena , pa nkhani yolankhulana ndi mawerengedwe, omwe angabweretse ma bonasi ena. Kotero, kugonana mu psychology ya mkazi sikumangokakamizika, kuika chisangalalo patsogolo, ngakhale mosakayikira kukhala kofunikira, kwa mkaziyo ndi mkazi wake.

Chofunika ndi chiyani?

Psychology ya chikondi ndi kugonana imayima pa miyala iwiri yamakona: chibadwa cha kubalana ndi kuthekera kumanga mgwirizano wogwirizana, pokhala ndi kukhoza kusokoneza. Ndipo ngati anthu awiri akudziwa momwe akumverana, ndiye kuti sizingakhale zovuta kuti iwo abwere "mgwirizano" molingana ndi zomwe chimodzi mwa iwo amayembekezera kuchokera kwa ena.

Kawirikawiri kugonana koyamba, amene maganizo ake ndi ofunikira kwambiri (pambuyo pake padzapangidwanso kwa iye wokondedwa ndi momwe angakhalire ndi chiyanjano cholimba) amatsindika zofunikira ndi kugonana kwa munthu. Kwa nthawi yoyamba, aliyense amakumbukira chirichonse, ziribe kanthu ndikumverera, zoipa kapena zabwino, iye anasiya. Ndipo mosamala kapena ayi, koma tidzatha kufanana ndi zochitika zathu zonse zokhudzana ndi kugonana ndi izo, kuzipangitsa kuti zikhale ndondomeko yowonongeka. Chinachake chidzakhala bwino ndipo chidzaikidwa mu kukumbukira kwathu pansi pa chizindikiro cha kuphatikiza, ndipo chinachake chikuipira ndipo tidzachiponyera m'maganizo osungirako zinthu.

M'dziko lamakono, kugonana kumawoneka ngati gwero lachisangalalo (ndipo ziribe kanthu momwe zimakhalira), ndipo pokhapokha, monga njira yoberekera mwana. Zolondola ndizomwe zimaganizira za tsogolo lamtundu wa anthu, momwe zidzakhala zofunikira kukhala ndi moyo omwe sangakhale akuphunzitsidwa kukonda, koma kuti azichita nawo chikondichi, kukana kwathunthu zinthu monga chikondi, chikhalidwe, komanso chofunika kwambiri, kukhazikika kwa mgwirizano wapabanja. Mbiri yakale imasonyeza kuti kawirikawiri njira zonse zopezera chisangalalo zimakhala zowonjezeka ndipo zimaleka kukhala ndi malire, ngakhale maufumu akuluakulu akugwa ndi chikhalidwe chimayesa kutsogolera anthu kukhala njira yatsopano ya chitukuko. Koma ndani akuphunzira kuchokera ku zolakwa zake? Pali chinachake choyenera kuganizira, sichoncho?