Si chinsinsi kwa wina aliyense kuti ubale uliwonse umamangidwa pa chidaliro. Koma sizinthu zonse m'moyo zimakwaniritsa zoyembekeza zathu, ndipo nthawi zambiri ngakhale anthu apafupi ndi zochita zawo zimawononga kukhulupirirana. Ndipo ziribe kanthu kuti ndi ndani ndipo chifukwa chiyani sichikugwirizana ndi zoyembekeza, nthawizonse zimakhala zovuta kugwirizanitsa ndi chinyengo, ndipo zimawoneka zosatheka kubwezeretsa ubale wakale.
Kodi mungabwezere bwanji chikhulupiliro mu ubale? Nanga bwanji ngati kupanda chikhulupiriro ndi maganizo okayikira kungawononge banja losangalala? Kodi mungatani kuti mukhulupirire? Posakhalitsa, mu moyo wa munthu aliyense, mafunsowa akuwuka, ndipo kuti tipeze yankho, tifunikira kumvetsetsa kuti chiyanjano cha chikhulupiliro ndi chiyani komanso momwe chikhulupiliro chimayambira.
Kotero, maubwenzi amamangidwa pa chidaliro, koma kuti ubale ukhale ndi chidaliro kwa wokondedwa, nkofunikira kusunga malamulo awa osavuta:
1. Khalani ndi maganizo okhulupilika
Ngati munthu sakudziwa kuti ali odalirika, ndiye kuti ena sadzamukhulupirira. Sikofunika kutenga maudindo opanda pake kapena kupereka malonjezo opanda kanthu. Ngati munthu ali ndi chidaliro m'mawu ake ndipo akudziwa kuti wapanga lonjezo, adzachita zonse zomwe angathe kuti akwaniritse, ndiye chidaliro chimenechi chidzamvekedwa ndi ena.
2. Pewani ngakhale bodza
Kukhulupirira kuti munthu ndi odalirika kumapangidwa chifukwa cha zochita zake, kutsimikizira zolinga zake moona mtima. Koma ngati munthu sakhala ndi zikhulupiliro zokhulupilira ngakhale pazinthu zazing'ono, ndiye pazinthu zovuta kwambiri sachitanso chidaliro.
3. Musayesetse kutsimikizira kuti ndinu odalirika ndi mawu
Panthawi inayake, ena angakhulupirire mawuwo, koma chinyengo choterechi chidzachoka mwamsanga. Zochita zokha zingatsimikizire kapena kukana kudalirika kwa munthu.
4. Kusakhala ndi chikhulupiliro ndi maubwenzi okayikira nthawi zonse zimakhala ndi zifukwa zomwe zimafunikira kudziwika
Kawirikawiri anthu amajambula zolakwika zakale mpaka lero. Mwachitsanzo, ngati m'mbuyomu mmodzi mwa anthu awiriwa anali chiwombankhanza, ndiye kuti mu ubale wotsatira iye adzakhala ndi nsanje ndikukayikira theka lake. Ndipo mmalo momatsutsana wina ndi mzake wosakayikira, ndizofunika kulankhula moona mtima, kupeza zomwe zimayambitsa mgwirizano ndi zochitika zakale komanso pamodzi kuti apeze njira yowonzetsera chidaliro mu maubwenzi.
5. Sikofunika kuitanitsa nokha chinsinsi ndikudzidalira popanda ena
Anthu onse ali ndi mfundo za moyo wawo, ndipo aliyense ali ndi malingaliro ake potsenga ndi kusakhulupirika. Chifukwa chake, chikhulupiriro chodalirika chikhoza kuwuka kwa anthu omwe ali ndi mfundo zofanana pamoyo ndi malingaliro, kapena kwa iwo amene akhala akutsimikizira mobwerezabwereza kuti ndi odalirika. Pamene mnzanuyo satsimikiza kuti hafu ikugawana maganizo ndi zikhulupiliro zake, adzakayikira.6. Musaganizire malingaliro anu pazochita za mnzanu
Ngati mnzanuyo walakwitsa, musaganizire zomwe akuchita malinga ndi malingaliro awo. Choyamba, muyenera kumvetsera kwa mnzanu ndikupeza zifukwa za zomwe zinachitika. Kukambitsirana kokha kumathandiza kumvetsetsa zolinga za wina ndi mzake ndikupewa kuchita zotero mtsogolomu.
7. Kulankhulana kumafunika kukhala wowona mtima ndipo cholinga chake ndi kuthetsa vutoli
Ngati okondedwawo akukhulupirira kuti angathe kugawana zomwe akumana nazo, ndiye kuti chikhulupiliro chidzakula kwambiri tsiku ndi tsiku. Koma ngati, atatha kugawana mavuto awo, wokondedwayo akumva kutsutsidwa ndi kutsutsidwa, ndiye nthawi yotsatira adzayesa kuthetsa mavuto onsewo. Ndiyeno, m'kupita kwanthawi, chikhulupiriro chimatha.
Malingaliro ophweka awa adzakuthandizani kumverera chikondi mwa chikondi wina ndi mzake, koma momwe mungabwezeretse chikhulupiliro mu ubale ngati mmodzi wa abwenzi apanga chiwembu? Popanda kudalira, mtima wokayikira ukhoza kudziwonetsera ngakhale m'zinthu zosafunika kwenikweni, zomwe zimayambitsa moyo pamodzi tsiku ndi tsiku. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amakhulupirira kuti chithandizo choyamba pazochitika zotero ndi kulankhulana moona mtima. Koma kuti zokambiranazo sizitsutsana ndi kutsutsana, aliyense ayenera kukonzekera kukambirana. Wochita zoyipa ayenera kufufuza zomwe zinayambitsa zochita zake, ndipo ndi zifukwa zotani zimene wapanga kuchokera ku zomwe zikuchitika. Nkhuta yonyengerera iyeneranso kulingalira zomwe zimayambitsa zomwe zikuchitika, komanso kuganizira zomwe zochita za mnzanuyo zidzabwereranso chikhulupiliro.
Maubwenzi onse ndi aumwini okha omwe mothandizidwa ndi okhulupilika ndi okhulupilika omwe angayanjane nawo angathe kupeza njira yobwezeramo chidaliro mu ubale. Izi zingakhale zophweka. Koma ndi chikhumbo chofuna kusunga ubale ukugwira ntchito tsiku ndi tsiku, kulemekeza malingaliro ndi zokhumba za wina ndi mzake, theka lidzatha kugonjetsa nthawi yovuta, ndipo panthawi yakumbukira chomwe chinachitika ngati phunziro lothandiza lomwe linawaphunzitsa kukondana ndi kuyamikirana wina ndi mnzake.