Kumayambiriro kwa moyo wa banja, tsogolo lachiwiri likuwoneka mwachimwemwe, maganizo okhudzana ndi kusagwirizana samafikapo. Koma nthawi imadutsa, ndipo mu khalidwe la mwamuna amayamba kusokoneza, samvetsera mwachidwi, nthawi zambiri amakhala wamwano komanso wamwano, ndipo amakhumudwa chifukwa cha zochita zoterezo zimawoneka ngati zachilendo. Zifukwa za izi zingakhale zazikulu, mwinamwake izi ndizokutaya kwa banal, pangakhale zovuta zachuma, ndipo mwinamwake zolakwa zonse za mkazi wina, yemwe anali ndi chidwi ndi mwamuna wake. Kusakhulupirika kumatha kuchiritsidwa mosiyana, koma ngati mutasankha kusunga ukwati, zingakhale zabwino kumvetsetsa momwe mungakhululukire kugulitsidwa kwa mwamuna ndikukhala moyo pambuyo pake. Chifukwa chakukwiyitsa sikudzakupatsani mpata wobwezeretsa chiyanjano ndipo pamapeto pake kudzatsogolera kukhumudwa komwe kumabweretsa zovuta zambiri kuposa momwe mutasankha kuchoka nthawi yomweyo.
Kodi mungakhululukire bwanji kuperekedwa kwa wokondedwa wanu?
Gawo loyamba kukhululukidwa lidzakhala kukambirana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, pamene mukuyenera kuletsedwa ngati kupsinjika ndi kukhumudwa kumakhala kofala kwa inu, ndipo mumayankhula ngati mutakhala chete ndi bata. Ndipo yesetsani kukhala kutali ndi zoopseza za mitundu yonse. Mwachitsanzo, amayi ambiri amakhulupirira kuti mungathe kukhululukira mwamuna wanu pambuyo pochita chiwembu mofanana ndi momwe amachitira. Izi sizingatheke kuthetsa vutolo, mumangodziwonjezera nokha kuti muli ndi mlandu, ndipo ngakhale mkwiyo wa mwamuna wanu umayambitsa. Kuwonjezera pamenepo, ziyenera kukumbukiridwa kuti ambiri mwa anthu ambiri samavomereza chiwembu, choncho pambuyo pochita zimenezi kusunga ubalewo kumakhala kovuta kwambiri. Kotero, pokambirana, simuyenera kuopseza kubwezera kubwezera, palibe chabwino chomwe chidzatha pamenepo. Komanso, ana sayenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito ngati chiwopsezo, choyamba, sichifukwa choti akulu awiri sangagwirizane, ndipo kachiwiri, ntchitoyi imangokwiyitsa munthuyo, mayi wabwino samachita monga choncho.
Kuphunzira za chiwombankhanga kuli kovuta kwambiri kuti muchitire mwamuna kapena mkazi mofananamo kale, maganizo sapereka kulingalira mozama pa nkhaniyi, mukuvutika ndi zodandaula, kodi tikhululukidwe kotani pano? Kuti mumvetse ndi kumukhululukira mwamuna wake pambuyo pochita chiwembu angathandize kuthandizana pang'ono, ndipo musamuwonetse iye ngati chilango. Ndibwino kuti musapite kwa makolo, koma kupita ndi ana kumzinda wina kapena kupita kudziko lina.
Kodi mungakhululukire bwanji kuperekedwa kwa wokondedwa wanu?
Nthawi yoyamba pambuyo pa nkhani zosasangalatsa ngati izi, malingaliro amayamba kumangoyang'ana pa iye, mu chikhalidwe chotero chokhululukira mwamuna wanu chifukwa cha chiwembu, ziribe kanthu momwe mukuyesera, sizigwira ntchito. Choncho, tifunika kupeza njira yochepetsera, kulola kuti mtima ukhale pansi. Kwa ichi, chizoloŵezi chatsopano chikhoza kubwera chomwe chidzakunyengereni. Ngati pali ana, ndiye kuti muyenera kuwamvetsera kwambiri, samalani ndi iwo akuwombera bambo anu, ndipo ngati ali ndi mafunso, fotokozerani zonse mwamtendere.
Kawirikawiri osati, funso loti mungakhululukire wokondedwa wanu limayikidwa ndi amayi omwe sadzidziwa okha. Munthu yemwe amasangalala ndi atsikana kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi saganizira za chikhululukiro pokhapokha ngati ali ndi zifukwa zovuta (ubwenzi wa nthawi yaitali umene sungathe kuwonongedwa chifukwa cha khalidwe limodzi loipa). Koma "mbewa imvi", omwe adadziwonetsa okha mwa okondedwa awo, amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi kusakhulupirika.
Koma musanayambe kuchitapo kanthu kuti muteteze banja, muyenera kuganizira ngati kuli koyenera kuti mukhululukire mwamuna wanu pambuyo pochita chiwembu. Yang'anirani mkhalidwewu moyenera, musayese kubisala kumbuyo kwa ana: kukhumudwa nthawi zonse m'banja, kukwiya kwa amayi ndi kulemekeza kwa abambo kuli koipitsitsa kuposa kuthetsa banja.