Chothandizira - chodabwitsa ichi chiri ndi mtundu wabwino pakati pa anthu, kusonyeza kuti munthuyo ali ndi malingaliro okoma ndi okoma mtima, malingaliro omwe amathandiza kupanga mabwenzi, kusunga ubale wa banja, ndi kukhala nawo mwa anthu ena.
Kodi chiyanjano chimatanthauza chiyani?
Kuphatikizidwa kwa munthu ndi lingaliro lophatikizana lomwe limaphatikizapo mayiko osiyanasiyana: kukhala ndi chiyanjano, chikondi, chidwi, kudzipereka kwakukulu ndi kukhulupirika. Kawirikawiri, kulumikizana kumapweteka komanso kumapweteka, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kufotokoza zomwe munthu angathe kuchita ndipo zimalepheretsa kumanga ubale wabwino ndi anthu ena ofunikira.
Mmene mungasiyanitse chikondi ndi chikondi?
Kumvetsetsa chikondi ndi chikondi - kawirikawiri funso ili likufunsidwa ndi amayi, osatha kusiyanitsa izi chifukwa cha malingaliro awo achirengedwe. Kumva chikondi ndi chikondi chosiyana:
- chikondi - kukopa, chikondi - kuyanjana kwa miyoyo;
- Pachiyambi cha kugwirizana, malingaliro ndi osasunthika, ndiye amatha, amatsitsa, chikondi chimakhala chozama, chakuya;
- chiyanjano chimayambitsa mphamvu yowopsya, m'chikondi chikhumbo cha dongosolo losiyana ndi maziko ake mphamvu yomwe ikupita patsogolo;
- Chiyanjano chimagwirizana ndi kudzipereka, chikondi ndi kuvomerezana ndi munthu wina komanso chimwemwe chokha chifukwa chakuti alibe chilichonse chimene akuyembekezera.
Kodi mungachotse bwanji chikondi?
Kodi mungachotse bwanji chiyanjano kwa munthu, chifukwa kudalira sikupereka moyo wamba, kupuma, kudzizindikira nokha ngati munthu? Akatswiri a zamaganizo amalangiza pazochitika zoterezo kuti azigwiritsa ntchito kwa akatswiri, ndizovuta kuthetsa vuto ngatilo, ngati kulibe kuthekera, musataye mtima ndipo nkoyenera kuyamba kuyesa njira zowonjezera motere:
- Dziwani kuti chirichonse m'dziko lapansi ndi cha kanthawi, komanso ubalewo;
- fufuzani chinthu kapena chinthu chogwirizanitsa mothandizidwa ndi mafunso: "Kodi chingachitike n'chiyani munthu uyu atasiya moyo wanga?", "Chifukwa chiyani ndikuwopa kutayika?";
- Chiyanjano ndi chizolowezi chopeza chimwemwe mwa kudziyanjanitsa ndi munthu wina, ndikofunika kuphunzira momwe mungakhalire osangalala popanda ena;
- kuyamba kuphunzira za inu nokha chinachake chatsopano, kudzikonda nokha, khalani ndi zolinga - izi muyenera kupita kumadzi akuya, osasinthanitsa kunja.
Mitundu yothandizira
Zomwe zingagwirizane zingagawidwe mwazigawo zosiyanasiyana, ndipo zonsezi zimayikidwa muubwana, komanso zimadalira chikhalidwe cha mwanayo. Zolemba:
- Wopulumuka (wathanzi) - umapangidwira m'banja lomwe mwana amafunikira mu chisamaliro, chidwi ndi chikondi zimakhutitsidwa. Ana m'mabanja otere amakula ndi chidaliro, amakhala chete ndikusinthasintha mosavuta m'madera ozungulira.
- Kupewa - kumachitika pamene mwanayo akunyalanyazidwa mosamala, amakula molakwika, malinga ndi maganizo a ena, omwe sangathe kupanga ubale weniweni.
- Kusayanjanitsika - kugwidwa m'banja lomwe makolo amachitira zachiwawa - mwanayo amakula mofulumira, amazunza ena.
Kusokonezeka Maganizo
Chotsatira chirichonse chimamangirizidwa ku malingaliro a zoipa, zabwino, kapena zosakaniza za iwo. Kukondana kwamtima kwa mkazi kapena mwamuna kumabwera chifukwa cha kugonana ndi akazi komwe kumapanga mofulumira. Kumangirira mumtima kumakhala kovuta. Maubwenzi ndi kuphatikizika ndi zovuta kuwononga - ichi ndi chifukwa chabwino cha maanja, koma ngati chiyanjanocho chimawoneka pazowonongeka kapena zovuta, n'zovuta kuti anthu otero azigawanika, onse awiri amakondana ndi kudana, ndikupanga chilakolako chowawa chokhumba kwa wina ndi mzake.
Chikondi chokonda
Kugwirizana ndi maganizo a maganizo kumatanthawuza mavuto omwe amachititsa kuti munthu asamangokhalira kugwirizana ndi mayiyo, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti izi zikhale zosiyana ndi mitundu ina yosakhulupirika: yosavomerezeka, yosavomerezeka. Kusokonezeka kumeneku kumawonedwa mu kusokonezeka kwa chiyanjano: mwanayo amakondwera kwambiri ndi amayi, koma ngati apita ngakhale pang'ono, akawonekera pamakhala chisangalalo, mwamsanga m'malo mwa kulira, kunyoza ndi kukwiyitsa kwa amayi, posiya mwanayo yekha.
Chotsatira chosakondweretsa
Kusamvetsetsa mwakuya mu chiyanjano ndi khalidwe la ana ndi akulu omwe anakulira molimbika ndipo adalandira zocheperapo kusiyana ndi kugonjera ndi kusamala, anakulira mu "zilakolako zakukhumudwa". Chilumikizo chosakondweretsa chingayambitse vuto lalikulu la maganizo - vuto lachilumikizo chokhazikika, pamene mwana, wachinyamatayo, akuyesera kuti asamvere anthu omwe sakudziwa, zomwe zimamupangitsa kukhala wosavuta kwa anthu osakhulupirika.
Zisonyezero zosakanikirana zosakanikirana:
- chisokonezo ;
- kulamulira zochita zawo ndi ena;
- nkhaŵa, kudzikayikira;
- kusonyeza kudzikwanira mokwanira (kulephera, kunyengerera, mkwiyo);
- kusakhulupirika kwadziko;
- malingaliro omveka kwa amayi, anthu apamtima - kuchokera ku chikondi kudana kangapo patsiku.
Chikondi chachikondi
Kukhumudwa kwa kugwirizanitsa mitundu yosiyanasiyana, yomwe ili ndi nkhawa yodzipatula kwambiri ndi chikhumbo chophatikizana ndi chofunikira china, kupasuka mmenemo - ichi ndi chikondi chachikondi. Kwa mwana wakhanda, kuthandizana ndi amayi ndikofunika kwambiri kuti apulumuke, machitidwe a ubongo wa mwana ndi mayi amagwira ntchito mwachiyanjano, kumverera wina ndi mzake. Koma mwanayo akukula ndipo ayenera kupatukana pang'ono ndi mayiyo.
Vuto la zaka zitatu, pamene mwanayo akutsutsa ndikuyesera kuchita zinthu yekha, pomwe mawu omwe ali pamsinkhu uwu "Ine ndekha!" Zikuwonetseratu kuti ndi nthawi yowerengera ndi munthu wamng'ono kuti akhale ndi ufulu wokhala ndi ufulu wodziwa dziko lapansi. Mayi woopsya amatsutsa mwatsatanetsatane, izi zimachitika chifukwa panthawi ina nayenso anali ndi mavuto osiyana ndi amayi ake, pamene akumva:
- kusowa;
- kutopa kwathunthu;
- mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo;
- kudziimba mlandu ndi manyazi.
Zizindikiro za kugwirizana kwa mwana ndi mayi:
- Zochita zake zonse mwanayo akuyitana kwa mayiyo, popanda iye komanso sitepe sangathe kulowa;
- limalamula amayi;
- akusowa zokopa kunja kwa ntchito, zosangalatsa, kudzikonda sikumabuka;
- sakudziwa momwe angakhalire ndi kukhala ndi moyo wake.
Chikondi cha kugonana
Kufunika kwa chiyanjano kwa wokondedwa wogonana ndi amayi kumatchulidwa kwambiri kuposa kwa amuna. Kukondana kapena kugonana kumapangidwa mothandizidwa ndi kumasulidwa pakati pa kugonana kwa oxytocin yochuluka, imene amuna amatsitsimutsa ndi testosterone, ndipo akazi amawonjezeredwa ndi estrogen, mahomoni omwe amachititsa kuti thupi likhale losangalatsa komanso "limangomanga". Choncho, amai akhoza kukhala omangirizana ndi mnzanu atangoyamba kugonana, ndikugwirizanitsa kwambiri kugonana.
Kusiyana ndi mnzanu kumawonetsedwa ndi mkazi kwambiri morbidly. Nthawi zambiri, kugonana ndikumverera. Kwa amuna, kukondana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu kumapangika pakapita nthawi. Kwa mkazi, chida ichi chiri chozama, chifukwa chimakhudza kuyamikira kwa zosangalatsa zakuthupi zomwe zimaperekedwa ndi wokondedwayo.
Pewani Mtumiki Wothandizira
Chidziwitso chothandizira chimapewera kusamalidwa monga zolakwira zomwe zimakhala pafupifupi 25 peresenti ya anthu. Ana omwe ali ndi njira yopewera kusintha amachitira zinthu zomwe zimawoneka ngati zosayanjanitsa kuchokera kumbali: amayi amachoka kapena amawadzera. Ndi mtundu wopewera wothandizira, mwana akhoza kulankhula bwinobwino ndi alendo. Nthawi zambiri makolo samawopseza ana awo, kuwonetsa anzawo kuti mwana wawo ali ndi ufulu wodzilamulira kwa zaka zambiri. Mtumiki wamtundu uwu umapezeka muzochitika zotsatirazi:
- Kupatukana koyamba ndi amayi (kutalika, imfa);
- chisamaliro;
- kuyang'anitsitsa kwambiri ndi kulamulira ali wamng'ono;
Kupewa chiyanjano - zizindikiro kuyambira ali mwana komanso wamkulu:
- Kulephera kukhazikitsa ubale wa nthawi yayitali;
- Kulephera kupeza thandizo, kuthandizidwa - kukhala yekha;
- kusowa chiyanjano ndi anthu ofunikira, ofunikira;
- malingaliro olakwika pa maonekedwe a kunja, samakonda kukhudza.
Neurotic chikondi
Kugwirizana kwa mwanayo kwa amayi kungakhale kowawa. Ana ena amafunikira kukhalapo kwa amayi nthawi zonse, ndipo zimamutengera maminiti pang'ono kuti apite kumatsenga, ndipo mayi wabwino nthawi yomweyo amathamangira kukweza mwanayo, kumkoka naye kulikonse. Pakapita nthawi, kuponderezedwa ndi mwana amene akukula kumakula ndipo kumayambitsa nkhawa. Ana oterewa amaphunzira lamulo kuti wokondedwa wawo akhale pafupi, ayenera kuvutika ndi kusewera pakumva kwake.
Kwa akuluakulu, odwala kapena osakondana amamasulidwa ku maubwenzi onse ofunika, komabe makamaka pachikondi cha ubale. Momwe izo zikudziwonetsera zokha:
- moyo umakhala wopapatiza kwa munthu mmodzi;
- kufunika kwa wina kuti awone mgwirizanowu ndi cholinga cha moyo;
- nkhawa ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse;
- kulamulira moyo wa munthu wina;
- Maganizo owononga: nsanje, mkwiyo.
Chikondi chosasokonezeka
Kulakwitsa kwa chikhomo mwa mawonekedwe a chiwonetsero cha makhalidwe otsutsana ndi khalidwe losagwirizana. Kugwirizana kotereku kumapangidwira muubwana, m'banja lomwe makolo amachitira nkhanza komanso amachitira mwanayo mwankhanza, zotsatira zake, ana akukula sangathe kulamulira khalidwe lawo, lomwe limakhala ndi chidwi. Izi zikufotokozedwa mwabodza, kuba, kudzivulaza nokha ndi ena, chiwawa. Amakhala pa mfundo yakuti "ndiribe kanthu koti ndiwonongeke!" Zizindikilo zosakanikirana:
- kusowa chifundo ;
- kusakhoza kufotokoza mokwanira maganizo awo;
- mawu omveka;
- kusowa chidwi, chidwi, malingaliro;
- Kulephera kukhala pafupi, kudalira ubale ndi anthu;
- palibe kusiyana pakati pa omwe angakhale odalirika ndi omwe sangathe (kudalirika ndi anthu omwe sakudziwa nawo, pamene anthu oyandikana nawo akuwoneka ngati akuopseza);
- anthu amawonedwa ngati chinthu chomwe chingagwiritsidwe ntchito pazinthu zawo.