Ponena za ubale waakazi kwa nthawi yaitali pali nthano, nthabwala, ngakhale zolemba za sayansi zinalembedwa. Kukhalapo kwake kunatsimikiziridwa nthawi zambiri ndipo kunatsutsidwa. Pali bwenzi lachikazi - ndizovuta kunena mosaganizira, koma tiyesa kuyandikira choonadi, poyesa zonse zabwino ndizopweteka.
Mfundo yakuti mtsikana aliyense kuyambira ali mwana amayesetsa kupeza chibwenzi, akhoza kufotokozedwa mosavuta. Izi zinachitika mbiriyakale, chifukwa chazifukwa zomwe sitingathe kuzilamulira. Kuyambira mibadwomibadwo, chidziwitso chimafalitsidwa kuchokera kwa mayi kupita kwa mwana kuti akazi ali ofanana kwambiri ndipo ndi kosavuta kuti apeze chinenero chimodzi. Kodi mukukumbukira ndi amene mudasewera mudakali pachidole, mwa ana a amayi anu? Ndi ndani amene anakhala pamiphika yoyandikana nayo? ndi ndani omwe adayanjana nawo zokhudzana ndi chikondi choyamba? Chabwino, ndithudi, ndi abwenzi! Yemwe, ziribe kanthu momwe mnzanuyo, amamvera kulira kwanu pa foni, perekani malangizo ndi chisoni. Kodi ndinganene chiyani, mkazi amamvetsa mkazi wokhala ndi theka-mawu, zomwe sitinganene za amuna. Zimakhala zovuta kuti amvetse zomwe zimatchedwa "logical woman". Chifukwa chake ndi chakuti akazi ndi amuna adasiyanitsidwa kuyambira ali aang'ono. Pamene akunena, "anyamata - kumanja, atsikana - kumanzere". Ndipo kotero izo zinali.
Inde, kukhalapo kwa ubale waakazi si choonadi chenicheni. Amene amaumirira kuti palibe abwenzi aakazi, amakhalanso ndi umboni wawo. Ndipo umboni uwu ndi wokhutiritsa kwambiri. Amati ubale wazimayi umakhalapo mpaka munthu akuwonekera. Inde, abwenzi-atsikana amakula, amaika zidole pambali ndi ... kugwa m'chikondi. Izi ndi zachibadwa (ngakhale zosapeŵeka) ndi ubwenzi sizikuwoneka zovulaza. Koma ngati chinthu chovomerezera atsikana awiri akhale munthu yemweyo, muyenera kusankha. Kenaka ubale wa atsikanawo ukufunsidwa. Aliyense akufuna kukhala pachilichonse choyamba komanso nthawi zonse yekha, ndipo kusiya mpikisano kumatayika, ndiye chifukwa chake sitimakonda atsikana kwambiri.
Mfundo yakuti ubale waakazi siilipo umatsimikiziridwa ndi ludzu la mpikisano, lomwe limapangidwira kwambiri pakati pa ofooka omwe ali ofooka. Ubwenzi pakati pa amai sungamangidwe kokha pachisoni, komanso phindu laumwini, lomwe nthawi zambiri limawonekera pachibwenzi. Simungathe ngakhale kuti mnzanu wapamtima akukugwiritsani ntchito. Mwachitsanzo, pamene mukuthandiza pa kukula kwa ntchito, mutumikire mokhulupirika misozi ndi madandaulo, ubwenzi sungasokonezedwe. Koma mwamsanga pamene cholinga cha chisoni chanu - chibwenzicho chikufikira, mumakhala osakondwera naye. Musaiwale kuti mkazi ali ngati mphaka - amakonda kuyenda yekha.
Kumbali inayi, kuti ubwenzi wa chikazi si nthano umatsimikizira kutsutsa kwa ubale wa amuna. Amayi ndi amuna okha amalankhula zinenero zosiyanasiyana. Yoyamba - maganizo, ndi yachiwiri - mwaluso, pragmatic. Izi nthawi zambiri zimawaletsa kupeza chinenero chimodzi. Ndipo monga tanena kale, mkazi amvetsetsa mkazi wopanda mawu.
Kodi mungatani kuti mukhale paubwenzi ndi mnzanu?
Pali zitsanzo za ubale wachikazi uyu, pamene abwenzi sakusowa chilichonse kuchokera kwa wina ndi mzake, kupatula kulankhulana bwino, kumvetsetsa ndi kumvetsa chisoni. Koma ngati inu mwachita zosiyana kwambiri, musataye mtima ndikukana kuti pali mabwenzi ambiri. Choyamba, muyenera kufufuza momwe zinthu ziliri panopo ndikuganiza mozama za momwe mungakhalire ndi ubale ndi chibwenzi chanu, chifukwa nthawiyo sizinatayika. Mwinamwake mukulakwitsa chifukwa chosakhulupirika kwake.
Tiyeni tione zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano ya abwenzi, ndipo njira zowyanjanitsa ndi ziti?
- Ngati mwazindikira kuti mnzanu wakhumudwa ndi chinachake ndikukuletsani, choyamba muyenera kuganizira za khalidwe lanu. Nthawi zina ngakhale ngakhale mawu osankhidwa bwino angathe kukhumudwitsa kwambiri munthu. Ngati mukukumbukira zomwe zingayambitse mkangano, nthawi yomweyo kambiranani ndi bwenzi lanu, mumupemphe kuti akhululukidwe. Adzakumverani ndikukhululukirani, koma mwina adzasowa nthawi.
- Chifukwa cha kukangana kungakhale munthu. Kodi mwamugwira "chibwenzi" ndi mnyamata wanu? Musawopsyeze, nthawi yomweyo muphwanye ndi ubale wawo. Mwinamwake iwo anakumana kuti akambirane tsiku lanu lokumbukira tsiku lotsatira, kuti akafunse akaunti ya mphatso kapena kukonza zodabwitsa. Ndipo inu kale napridumvali Mulungu amadziwa zomwe. Kuti timvetsetse vutoli, tifunika kukambirana zakukhosi kwathu, kufotokoza momveka bwino zomwe timakayikira, ndiyeno zonse zidzachitika.
- Ngati inu (kapena bwenzi lanu) simunasunge mawu ndipo mwangozi mwamuululira winawake chinsinsi cha bwenzi, kudziwa zomwe mungathe,
Musati mubisale kapena kungosiya chiyanjanocho. Muyenera kuvomereza kuti mwachita chinachake cholakwika, ndikupempha chikhululuko. Limbikitsani mnzanu modzipereka kuti izi sizidzachitika, mumuzeni kuti mumayamikira kwambiri ubale wanu. Mawu amenewa nthawi zonse amamva bwino. Ngati ubwenzi wanu uli wamphamvu komanso weniweni, ndiye kuti zonse zidzathetsedwa.
Nthawi zambiri chifukwa cha mkangano pakati pa abwenzi ndizochepa, osati zoyenera. Chinthu chachikulu ndikuteteza kusagwirizana kumakula. Musaope kutenga choyamba choyang'ana kuyanjanitsa, ndipo mwadzidzidzi mudzadutsa ndi abwenzi enieni, osati kuzindikira za maganizo osagwirizana ndi ena.