Ambiri akuyembekezera chikondi, kulota, kuzunzika, koma nthawi zambiri maloto amakhalabe maloto, ndipo chibwenzi sichitha bwino ndipo chimathera ndi kukhumudwa kwina. Ndipo chifukwa chake chiri chosavuta - anthu ochepa kwambiri amadziwa kuti chikondi ndi zotsatira za ntchito yolimbika imene okondedwa awiri amachita. Chikondi sichiyembekezeredwa, chimalengedwa tsiku ndi tsiku, mawu ndi ntchito iliyonse. Apo ayi, chikondi chikamatha ndipo chilakolako chikatha, palibe chomwe chimakhalapo, chomwe chingakhale chothandiza kusunga ubalewu. Koma funso ndilo, ndi mtundu wanji wa ntchito, kodi chiyenera kuchitanji kuti zinthu zonse zikhale molota? Mmene mungasunge chikondi mu ubale? Kodi ndi nthawi yaitali bwanji kuti ukhale ndi ubale wa banja m'banja, momwe mungasunge ubale ndi mwamuna wake kuti athe kupitiliza limodzi mpaka kumapeto, kugawanikana, osalole kuti wina ndi mnzake apunthane, kutetezana wina ndi mnzake ku zovuta za tsiku ndi tsiku? Zili choncho kuti chirichonse sichiri chovuta monga momwe chikuwonekera, koma osati mophweka monga momwe angafunire. Kuphunzira ubale pakati pa abambo ndi amai, akatswiri a zamaganizo apeza mayankho a mafunso ambiri, koma poyesera malangizo otsatirawa, musaiwale kuti munthu aliyense ndiyekha, ndipo palibe njira imodzi yokha yosungiramo mphamvu. Ndipo chotero lamulo loyamba ndi lofunikira kwambiri mu chiyanjano - muyenera kumvetsera nthawi zonse pamtima wanu. Musathamangire ndikuyesa kugwiritsa ntchito malingaliro onse, momwe mungasunge ubale wabwino ndi mwamuna wake. Koma, kumvetsera mawu amkati, nkofunika kuti mugwiritse ntchito malangizowo omwe ali oyenerera pazochitika zinazake. Mosakayikira, uphungu woperekedwa ndi akatswiri a maganizo a m'munsi ndi chitsimikizo momwe mungasunge chikondi mu chiyanjano ndi mwamuna kapena wokondedwa, koma kuti mugwiritse ntchito malangizowo pazochitika zina, mukufunikira kufotokozera nkhaniyi mwachidwi, mukuganizira za umunthu aliyense wa wokondedwa.
Kodi mungatani kuti mukhalebe ndi chibwenzi ndi okondedwa anu?
1. Khalani ndi chidwi ndi umunthu wanu
Amuna ndizilenje mwachibadwa, ndipo atamva kuti nyamayo ikugwidwa, sangathenso kukonda. Inde, ubalewu uyenera kukhala woona mtima ndi womvetsetsa, ndipo mwamunayo ayenera kumva kuti amamukonda. Koma nthawi ndi nthawi zimakhala zothandiza kuti nthawi zonse azikwaniritsa malo a wokondedwayo, ndiye kuti chiwongoladzanja chake chasaka chidzakhutira, koma osati chifukwa cha alendo osadziwika, koma chifukwa cha mkazi wokondedwayo. Koma kudandaula ndi kukonda nsanje sizothandiza, zikhoza kukhala zosiyana kwambiri.
2. Musalole zonyansa
Mfundo yakuti amuna ndi mitala amadziwika kwa nthawi yaitali. Ndipo, ngakhale izi, akazi onse akulota kukhulupirika kwa swan, ndipo amadabwa kwenikweni kuti amadziwa kuti wokondedwa amakopeka ndi anthu ena. Chifukwa chake, amayi amalimbikitsidwa kusintha nthawi ndi nthawi chirichonse mu chithunzithunzi chakunja, kuti apange munthu chinyengo cha amai. Inde, ngakhale kuti nthawi zonse mumaganizira zofuna za mnzanuyo.
3. Phunzirani momwe mungalankhulire ndi wokondedwa wanu.
Zikuwoneka kuti izi ndizofunikira, chifukwa aliyense amalankhula. Koma chotsatira cha kulankhulana sikuti nthawizonse chimakhala chimodzimodzi ndi momwe ife tikufunira. Phunzirani mosamala zofuna ndi zokonda za mnzanuyo, penyani momwe amadziwira izi kapena zomwezo. Choncho, n'zotheka kumvetsetsa njira yoyankhulirana yomwe ili yabwino kwambiri yothetsera mikangano, momwe mungaperekere mfundo zomwe zingachititse kuti anthu asayanjane, komanso momwe mungalankhulire malingaliro anu popanda kupikisana. Ndipo, ndithudi, nkofunika kuti mumvetsere, komanso kuti mumve wokondedwayo, mwinamwake chidwi chake chikhoza kutha msanga.
4. Khalani bwenzi, mkazi ndi mbuye
Ngati mwamuna awona mnzake wodalirika mwa mkazi, pomwe mkazi wachikondi ndi wokhulupirika, yemwe ali wodzala ndi chilakolako, ndiye kuti safuna kuti azigonana okha, komanso kuti awathandize, mwachitsanzo mwaukwati.
Koma ngati mwamuna wokondedwayo atembenuka kukhala mwamuna, ndiye izi sizitsimikizo kuti chikondi chidzakhala chamuyaya. Ndipo pamene mavuto onse okhudzana ndi kutuluka kwa banja latsopano atha, ndiye nthawi yoti tiganizire momwe tingasunge chikondi mu ubale wa banja. Chifukwa ukwati ndi wophweka pang'ono pokhapokha kuti pakhale chitukuko, ndipo pakadalibe zopinga zambiri, zomwe zimawopseza okonda okondwa.
Kodi mungatani kuti mukhalebe ndi chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wake?
Pali njira zambiri zomwe tingasungire ubale ndi mwamuna wake, koma kuti tithe kuwononga maubwenzi amenewa ndikwanira kuti tikhalebe ogwirizana m'moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku komanso mu ubale wapamtima. Sikuti nthawi zonse zimayambitsa chisudzulo, nthawi zambiri anthu amangokhala pamodzi mu gawo limodzi, kutembenuza miyoyo yawo ku gehena. Koma udindo wonse wa chiyanjano umangokhala pamapewa a okwatirana ndipo iwo okha amasankha chochitika cha chitukuko cha ubale wawo. Malangizowo otsatirawa sakhala opusa kwa iwo amene akufuna kupanga mgwirizano m'moyo wa banja:
- Tsiku lirilonse la kukhala pamodzi ndi chidziwitso, mawu ndi zochita zonse zingayambe kapena kuwononga, nthawi zonse ganizirani za zotsatira za mawu ndi zochita zanu;
- Pamene vuto likuyandikira kapena mkangano ukufika pachimake, khalani ndi cholinga cholimbana ndi vuto limodzi. Pachifukwa ichi, sizodabwitsa kudziwa njira zopankhulana momasuka;
- yang'anani kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino. Matendawa amakhudza momwe thupi limakhalira, komanso mphamvu ya munthu. Zotsatira zake zidzakhala zopanda chidwi m'moyo, ndiyeno chizoloŵezi ndi moyo sizidzatenga nthawi yaitali kuyembekezera;
- musalole kutsutsidwa. Ngati chinachake chimasokoneza mwadzidzidzi, fufuzani zifukwa, liwuzani momwe mumamvera komanso pamodzi mukuyang'ana njira yothetsera vutoli;
- kumvetsetsa komanso kulemekezana sikuyenera kukhala phokoso lopanda kanthu. Iyenera kukhala cholinga chimodzi, chimene munthu ayenera kupita, kugwira manja mwamphamvu.
Sungani momwe mungakhalire ndi ubale wabwino m'banja nthawi zonse, ndiyeno mgwirizano mu ubale ndi okondedwa udzabweretsa chisangalalo ndi chimwemwe tsiku ndi tsiku.